How to Dissolve Resentment by Being Mad at Ideas, Instead of People
I’m no teacher on this subject, but am just sharing a personal discovery that has worked beautifully for me this week. I had this idea that I could be mad at concepts instead of mad at people. It’s seemingly obvious, but the way I did it, it sent my mind in an untraveled direction I’m excited to explore.
First of all, I really need this skill, and maybe you do too. Shutting down emotionally—and verbally—after I’ve found a reason to resent someone is something I’ve struggled with a lot. I even spent weeks working on an article about Borderline Personality Disorder because, despite not meeting the criteria for this disorder, I relate so much to the problem of “splitting” on people you used to love. I find stories of BPDers learning to thrive in the face of their exquisite emotional sensitivity immensely therapeutic.
So, here’s a demo of my new skill and how I’m using it.
We’ll work with a time in high school when I got sent to the principal’s office. What happened was that on a van ride back from a field trip, I had tapped a fellow student’s knee, once, with my finger, to get their attention.
I’d spoken with the person over the course of the field trip. They were dozing off in the van and I had a sudden idea of something interesting to tell them. My knee…
