Member-only story
How I Finally Realized Life on Earth Is Mostly Suffering
And what I plan to do about it
Saying that “life is mostly suffering” sounds pretty negative. Who wants that?
I get it, because I’ve always wanted to be a positive person myself. I have even considered myself a proud Pollyanna.
But, as I shall argue, accepting this hard truth about life can actually be the first step to a more grounded, effective brand of positivity.
When we realize how prevalent suffering is, we also see how abundant the opportunities are to help.
We can seek to reduce suffering while still making our own lives as enjoyable as possible. We can still have a fun “personality,” or good communication skills that make us pleasant to be around.
So let’s get into this. I’ll share with you my story of how I came to conclude that life on Earth is mostly suffering, and you can see if you agree.
For 28 Years, I Clung to the Fantasy of Life Being Sunshine
I grew up in the global top few percent of wealth. I was and will always be privileged.
Still, that didn’t stop me from feeling anxious and dissatisfied much of the time. Possibly most of the time?
At school, I internalized the idea that “life was better now.” Slavery had been outlawed, women could vote, etc. But then around age 12, I became aware of the vast violence done to nonhuman animals, and how apathetic people were. (Obviously, oppression of humans is not “all better now” either.)
I was made fun of for being transgender, and soon, my mom was suffering from cancer and dying. So all of that opened my eyes a little. I turned majorly depressed as a teen.
And yet, when I read in a Buddhism book that “Life is filled with suffering,” I wanted to object. Life was also filled with joy, wasn’t it? How could you say that the negative side of life was what defined it?
For the time being, I brushed it off. Self-help books gave me hope, and I just had to believe that the nature of life was somehow wonderful—that if life wasn’t lovely yet, it someday would be.
